Shitty day :/ Been informed by people around me that I’ve probably been experiencing side-effects from my medication that I haven’t noticed, which upon investigation are the serious side effects you should tell your doctor about while they move you to different medication. But I didn’t notice, and I’m stopping it in a month for surgery anyway, so no point now.
Also the wonderful show that is Castle was kinda sad, and led to me being curled up in a ball of emptiness on the floor by my bed and not going into work today. So that’s not great either. Been panic-cleaning, because the devil makes work for idle hands, but not the shopping or cooking I wanted to do, because I was weighed at the hospital yesterday and arghghfhg I’m not happy at all.
And now I’m apologising profusely to people I probably don’t need to apologise to, trying to stop myself from slipping and talking to people who aren’t good for me to talk to, and just wishing everything would be simple. And now I’m writing about it where everyone can see, which is even worse, because I don’t want to bother anyone with feelings that are entirely normal but for some absurd reason I’ve stopped being able to cope with.
I hope I sleep tonight. I don’t think I could handle another night of broken sleep and nightmares.